Ask Forgiveness, Not Permission

I once read an interview with Toni Morrison where she described how she managed to accomplish being a Nobel Prize-winning author, a professor at Princeton and an editor at Random House. She explained that she accepted the teaching post at Princeton without telling the powers-that-be at Random House. When an editorial meeting was scheduled for a Friday, she simply said "I can't make it. On Fridays I teach at Princeton." And that was that. 

I loved Toni Morrison’s gumption, but thought “she can get away with that, but most people never could.” Then while reading Timothy Ferriss's bestselling book, The 4-Hour Workweek, this concept of "asking forgiveness, not permission" came up again. Ferriss says that “if it isn’t going to devastate those around you, try it and then justify it.” Act first, because people are more hesitant to stop you once things are in motion.

You can’t un-ring a bell
I decided to test this out at my job, where all of my client communication was closely supervised. Every time I hit “send” on an email, I would get feedback from a micromanaging boss about how it could have been more compelling or “impactful.” (I don’t think that’s a real word, but my boss sure did love it!) As my confidence dwindled, I starting having a co-worker review my work before sending it to clients.

Until this particular job, I had never questioned my ability to produce clear, professional work. I have a master’s degree in writing and used to teach college level writing classes, for heaven’s sake! I kept expecting to get to the point where I felt confident enough to send work without having someone check it first, but as the months went by this habit became a crutch. 

When I read The 4-Hour Workweek, I decided that enough was enough.  I started sending out my own letters, pitches and emails, and it was downright exhilarating. My boss panicked a bit at first, made me send some emails clarifying my already crystal clear words, and I thought Toni and Tim’s advice was backfiring. But soon enough I got my confidence back, she began to respect my work and my job satisfaction when through the roof.

Test this out in your own life with situations where the potential damage is minimal, or better yet, reversible. Book your dentist appointment, and then ask to come in late, rather than the other way around. See how your life begins to open up when you take action and put your needs first.     

Kerry Monaghan

www.kerrymonaghan.com